"...slipped 'n fell 'n trahhd t' catch m' balance on the truck door an'it done closed on mah damn finger 'n cut the tip clean off! So ah super-glued it back on lahhk they did at the hoss-spittal back when ah had that ax-cident up 'ere at the fac'try an' it got t' smellin' so rank under that dressin' an' ahh woke you up bah puttin' mah finger up 'ere under yer nose an' you jus' 'bout drah heaved when y'saw what it was..." *long pause for what sounds suspiciously like a mixture of drugged and drunken laughter*
...mishap. (Funny how years later I can still distinguish his different laughs). Sorry for making you read through that nearly indecipherable attempt at putting his drawl to some kind of phonetic text, but his stories "jus' ain't the same" without it "iff'n y'know what ah mean.".
If you've ever seen Lizard Lick Towing on TV you have some idea of the colorful speech of my ex and the country folk who live around and south of the Mason-Dixon. Kentucky people are exceedingly touchy about the fact that technically they fall north of that line, so one must learn quickly to tailor one's spoken observations regarding what is and is not "south" most especially if one has the vast misfortune (in their eyes) to have been born a "damned Yankee" (a term they still use and still mean with all their hearts). I admit I watch that Lizard Lick often during the winter out of fondness for the good old days, when some form of winter wasn't 9 months of the year and people knew how to have a good time. Say what you want about hillbillies and hicks; those people know how to LIVE life to the fullest each and every day, and they have a way with words like no other people I've ever met in my life. Maybe it's all that sun. Maybe it's brain damage from all that 'shine...pre and post-natally. Actually I cannot say that. Their women folk do not generally drink with the men. It is frowned upon almost as much as being a Yankee.
Anyway, while indulging my homesickness I found this amusing/disturbing rags to riches to rags ...and on the way back to riches again story about a Lexington, Kentucky man. Here's a link to the story and the comment, which I found quite compelling and more than a little familiar:
This woman is nearly as wordy as I am, but damn, a free house, plus air conditioning and Satellite Television, from the coffers of a charity that working people including single parents barely making ends meet contribute to? That does not sound like a sensible use of charity money to me. Not at ALL. In fact I'm pretty pissed off right now and I can truly empathize with her feelings about the situation. And where does Catholic Charities get off with the whole reverse discrimination thing? I feel for undocumented workers, with emphasis on the word WORKERS, but these charity abusers need to be prosecuted somehow, and BIG TIME, because people are legitimately struggling here. Their PAID enablers at Catholic Charities (they don't all volunteer; the people making these decisions are generously compensated and have a great deal of power once in these positions. Large donors are treated like demi-gods. It's a sick, sick system and needs fixing!
I also agree with her assessment of the health care, pharmaceutical and other charity industries. Every time I see that fat smarmy man pimping out those perfectly coiffed, tousled and dirtied yet made-up children in their carefully mis-matched shoes--perfect little urchins with perfect pink pouts and nary a chapped lip among them, though near death from starvation and dehydration, who miraculously have perfect sixty dollar haircuts (there's no disguising them--especially on the boys) I want to throw something at my tv...but something very soft, like maybe a cotton ball, because once those little givers of light die, they stay dead, and it spreads like some kind of TV screen cancer. I found that out by harsh experience on the one item I didn't bother to purchase the extended warranty for. Grr...
I don't know who those people think they're kidding with that advertising and those atrociously fake "please save me" and "I'm helpless and on the verge of giving up" looks on such perfectly healthy children's faces as they stand around what are clearly studio sets. Some charities, like Doctors Without Borders, are clearly real, and their short ads are heart-rending, but these mini-infomercials hosted by the fat guy who looks like a pedophile Santa out of season are just gaudy and ghastly. You know the ones...where they promise you a picture and letters from your very own child. They probably do have kids do the letters...from some sweat shop they're running in China, for which this charity is a probably a big tax write off. Sickening!
I looked up more on the McClellan thing too, and I think it's finally starting to snowball. That thing is also just plain outrageous. The link is here if you want to look into it:
As for the Catholic Charities thing.. the more I read about the Catholic hierarchy, the less I like it. Apparently I am true to the Moravian roots of my ancestors--many of them anyway. Some of the others were Lutheran, which is an off-shoot of the Moravians, who were the first Protestants--the first organized Christian religion to openly rebel against the Catholic Church and the Pope. I am SO proud of that! I am truly tolerant of literally anyone's spiritual beliefs, but I despise "God for money" as much as I despise health care for money, and no church in history is as guilty of money mongering and atrocities than the Catholic Church, not even the greedy cult of Mormonism.
All that said, I truly have nothing against anyone's belief system; I don't have to agree with someone to respect or like them. I don't care if they worship mushrooms. In fact I could be induced to "worship" a mushroom or two myself under the right circumstances....and wood as well....and that can be meant in any number of ways for both. And again I digress, but what a sweet digression it is. In fact it's the perfect note to end on for now.
Just thought I'd leave you with some pretty pictures of mushrooms, since I mentioned them. Be well.