Germany's Subtle New Cleansing?

Hot off the press!  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18793842  Der Faderland will no longer be allowing circumcision, even for religious purposes. This means unless there is a gross abnormality compromising function, German parents will no longer have the right to choose circumcision, and thereby better health, longer life, improved hygiene and a better more satisfying love life and larger pool of women from which to choose for their male kinders...at least I think kinders = children in my grampa's native tongue, which I believe, like ears, can still be surgically altered with parental consent in Deutschland.

This is just such a nasty old subject to health care professionals in the US. To my knowledge a few outliers, religious oddballs and recent immigrants from south of the border are the only people who still practice non-circumcision here since the onset of incurable and virtually undetectable STD's as well as study after study connecting female morbidity and mortality to uncircumcised sexually active males. What gives in Germany? I have an opinion, of course. That's why I created this blog...but I'm going to make you work for it. I'm so mean. *evil grin*


I don't mean to sound shallow. I'm not shallow. For instance, I'll be the first woman to sincerely say that size does NOT matter if a man is a passionate and open lover...and circumcised. I've also never been a wallet chaser, and despise women who are nothing but one-customer prostitutes when they marry for money rather than love. I may never be wealthy, but I'll also never be a sell-out. I can live with that. Yeah, I am kind of self righteous, aren't I...

Back to Germany.


I have a bone (ahem) to pick with a quote from the BBC article. Some absolute GENIUS decided in his approximately pea-sized brain that male circumcision is just like female genital mutilation as practiced in Egypt and throughout the Sudan, etc., and I quote:


Die Welt wrote: "The circumcision of Muslim boys is just as heinous as the archaic custom of the genital mutilation of little girls. It is an instrument of oppression and should be outlawed".


What an idiot! No one is removing the male organ of sensation, which would be the entire penis! In those little girls the goal is to remove all sexual stimulation (the vile backward bastards)! Female genital mutilation removes the clitoris, the pearl of pleasure men find so mystifying, and which some men, like Die Welt here, seem not to recognize at all, and my sympathies to his long list of  very short term lovers for that ignorance. Then again he could just be gay which would explain but not excuse his lack of even the most basic knowledge of female anatomy, THE SUBJECT UPON WHICH HE PRESUMES TO COMMENT, PROFESSIONALLY, IN PRINT!


At any rate, circumcision actually equates to all the women currently flying, in flocks, to Brazil to have their labia bleached and trimmed so they look like the surgically altered and/or pre-pubescent girls their porn addicted boyfriends stare at an average of 7-10 hours per week in the US. Actually I totally made up that statistic, but it sounds low for some people I know *waves to US Marine Major Mustang.*


My heartfelt apologies to any of you guys who may be reading this who have not had that excess, yuck-collecting, fold of blllllechy skin removed from the end of what I consider to be God's crowning achievement in both art and function. I mean that very seriously. 

The standing pillar of the naked, unadorned male phallus is an absolute wonder. It is true beauty in form and function. Add that flap of skin and it is no longer as noble and human. It could be any other animal. It loses its stature, pride, and grace and becomes something base. Yes, in answer to your question, I have indeed put a great deal of thought into this.


To you men out there who have heard horror stories about how terrible circumcisions are--nonsense! I've talked to many men who have had the procedure done as adults (professionally...I've spoken to them professionally--as a MEDICAL professional) and to a man they have, with once exception (and he had it done in the Army and had to return to duty directly afterward so that doesn't count) been happy with the results in both appearance and "feel" which is intensified. Even he was thrilled with the results; it was just a hard day of duty for him. I don't know from whence these old wives tales originate or why, but I think some men just have mommy issues and don't like the thought that someone else at any time, least of all THAT WOMAN decided what was done with their "most precious member." I don't know. They're weird. That I DO know.


You can have it done now with minimal expense and discomfort and thereby not only greatly increase the pleasure of the women with whom you choose to make love, but GREATLY increase the frequency with which you will enjoy that pleasure most men seem ever to crave above all things not related to football (baseball, hockey... this is a geographical issue I suppose) food and beer. Come to think of it, many men I've known would consider their sport of choice, a plate of supreme beef 'n cheese nachos, a good cold brewsky and this activity enjoyed simultaneously a true slice of heaven...but I come from flyover land, what can I say. Substitute Almas with Lordanov on the rocks if you're a coastie with money to burn.


Speaking professionally, I offer the following concerns regarding this German no-circumcision redux:


1. Women's health. It's a proven, undisputed, absolutely incontrovertible fact that uncircumcised males pass along the human HPV (think genital warts but without always getting the warts) virus to women. In men this virus often has no....zip, zero, nada symptoms. For women, however, it can be a death sentence, as it paves the way for increased risk of other STD's, such as Hepatitis B and C which can, in turn, increase greatly the chances of infection with the HIV virus. We also have wonderful new antibiotic-resistant strains of STD's now, so this is a grave issue.


This is a reason I truly despise men who cheat and don't at least use condoms. Not only do their wives have the shame of being cheated upon and always being the last to find out, but the whole while they're being exposed to the germs of EVERY MAN these "other" women have slept with. I mean if some guy wants to suck "Popsicle" by proxy that's his business, but taking that spit home to his wife is attempted manslaughter! She doesn't even know to get herself tested!


And ladies, making sure you keep him satisfied is no guarantee either. Some guys just get off on cheating. It's a psychological thing. As for those of you who prefer the man without the dirty socks and snoring and mood swings and sticky computer keys I can't honestly say I blame you...I don't judge, just don't buy the "my wife and I aren't sleeping together" line. He's doing her all right...probably before AND after he does you, honey, and he's never going to leave her unless she kicks his sorry ass out. He's probably doing three or four other women too, so get thee to Planned Parenthood ASAP if you haven't been using condoms because he had a vasectomy. That's not protecting you from the call girls he uses when he's out of town on business, hon. The numbers are exponential, and if he's not circumcised the risk of infection just EXPLODED!

Obviously this cautionary tale pertains to circumcision in that all those nasty bugs find a very happy breeding ground in the neglected folds of all that nice warm, moist skin.  And most men do NOT know how to properly keep it clean and/or just neglect to do so. THEY don't have to put their faces there. It's just like the hand washing after peeing thing.


They don't.


Look, in a perfect world all people would use condoms each and every time they had sex. Actually, that sounds like a very imperfect world, but that's an issue for another day. At the very least, people would be tested before unprotected sex, but we know that's not the case....not even close. It's never too late to be circumcised. So, like the Nike commercial says, just do it!

2. The human foreskin has lost its purpose. When we were running around in the woods naked, yes, it was important to protect that important part of the male anatomy, given at least one potent male was required in each tribe to continue the species. Very few men run about naked in the wild these days...at least not in survival situations. Although, I do recall a couple once caught "en flagrant e" at a state park when both male and female had to run naked through the woods because the female in question was a tad under age and the male just barely over 18, thereby constituting statutory rape...but I digress.


Oh, for those concerned, the penis in question, though circumcised, was just fine...very, very fine indeed.


3. Religious rights are being violated! This is offensive to me, though I am neither Muslim nor Jewish. Not only are the religions of these people being trod upon, ONCE AGAIN by the German government, which to me is just the EPITOME of insensitivity and intolerance given their shameful (some would say shameless) history, but it virtually guarantees botched circumcisions performed under less than ideal sanitary conditions.


As a medical professional I find this an atrocity. It guarantees PAIN and AGONY for the children, which makes me sick. In the hospital setting a doctor anesthetizes the area. No pain is felt. If a certain technique is used, no edges are even left open during the healing process--they are covered with a little rim of plastic until the skin completely heals over, so urination doesn't even cause the slightest of stings in the diaper area! It is literally painless from beginning to the point of complete healing, but Germany has decided to take this humane option away from responsible parents. This is absolutely reprehensible and uncivilized!


I once attended a ceremonial Jewish Brit Milah/Bris as part of the medical team on standby. My patient was extremely premature and extremely compromised and would require someone to manually use what's called an "ambu-bag" to breathe for him while he was taken off the ventilator (breathing machine) for this procedure. Despite it being in a hospital, the family, very devout, insisted upon having extended family and friends present, so we were unable to do the procedure in the NICU (Newborn Intensive Care Unit) and had to use a nearby conference room.


This "circ" could have been done quickly and with minimal fuss, given the child was already sedated, on pain medications, and as noted we always use topical and injected anesthetic, but the father insisted on the whole *cough pretentious cough* ceremony. Surely, I argued, God would understand under the circumstances. "No! This ceremony must be done at eight days of age and will be done as I dictate if I have to take him out of this hospital to do it!" The man was near hysteria. 

***24 week infant on ventilator. Not the infant in question and not one I personally cared for.***

He was told, point blank that his son was likely to die from the stress of the procedure. Again he threatened to take his child by force if necessary and would not listen to any amount of reason. We were unable to obtain a court order, as this was a man of some influence in the community. The law, as it almost always is, was with the parents here, so our hands were tied. We had no choice but to find a way to accomplish this with as little damage to the infant as possible. Faith is often not open to reason (which is what is going to cause so much carnage in the situation in Germany!) so we did what we could to minimize it.


The Bris is usuallyy done by a specially trained mohel, but can also be done by a Rabbi. Fortunately (or as it turned out, not) we were able to locate an elderly physician for the procedure/ceremony who was also a Rabbi, which given the mostly (shudder) conservative catholic area in which I live, was no small feat. At first we celebrated. Our problem was solved. Then we met the physician in question, and saw his intention tremor. An intention tremor is kind of what it sounds like. You try to do something and your hand starts shaking, in the good Rabbi/Doctor's case quite badly.


To make a horrifying and bloody story short, the baby did survive, but literally lost a part of his penis, not just the foreskin in the process, which took countless attempts. I tried to stop the procedure several times and was ignored.  His oxygen level dropped several times into the 60% range (normal is in the 90's) and his heart rate dropped many times, so his heart and lungs did not keep his brain oxygenated. He needed a transfusion of packed red cells, not just plasma, after the procedure. So that father, for the sake of his "Covenant with God" gave his son the "gift" of a mutilated penis and almost certainly, brain and motor/muscle control problems for the rest of his life. Watching it was one of the worst things I've ever seen. Despite memory loss due to multiple chemical exposure in the Army as listed in my (rather too lengthy) bio, that memory BURNS in my mind.


I can only think now that many other infants are going to face similar fates now as desperate people of Muslim and Jewish belief scramble to keep those all important Covenants. For this I do not blame them or their religiosity, as I do in the case above, which was extreme. I blame the German government. Of course, Mr. Gauck has proven himself to be quite the elitist despite his protests to the contrary. He knows the wealthy will be able to simply practice medical tourism and have their children circumcised in more advanced nations. As always, and as happens all too often here, the poor will be left to fend for themselves.





The results are not going to be pretty. I wonder. Is this Germany's way to perhaps drive out some of those unwanted Muslims and Jews from der Faderland?